It seems ironic, but I have trouble taking picture of the people that I cherish the most. Friends, family, classmates, it doesn't matter. I feel comfortable going up to a complete stranger, asking them a hundred questions and then shadowing them with a camera all day long. But it is so.... SO hard to take pictures of the people I know and love. When my Memaw passed two years ago, I hated myself for never taking a good portrait of her. Even in the past two years I still haven't felt comfortable taking pictures at family events.
But I got a call a week ago from today, regarding my Papa's delicate heart. I brought my camera... just like I always do, but was I actually going to shoot?
It was the hardest thing I have ever shot. It was so hard, but so therapeutic at the same time. I put aside the reality that these were my family. The light was beautiful. The people were beautiful. The moments were there. The love was so strong in that room you hesitated to step out of it.
Some of my family didn't see the beauty the way that I saw it. I was eventually asked to stop taking pictures. I didn't mind it at all. I needed to stop using the camera as a way to separate myself from what was going on. I needed to deal with what I was feeling. It was the hardest thing I ever shot. His funeral was the hardest thing I didn't shot. It was so powerful and beautiful. The images of that day I get to keep for myself.
1 comment:
I know how staying behind the camera takes you away from some things. I see a caring family. I also see something we will all be apart of someday. This is a beautiful photo and a beautiful story. I'm glad you shared.
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