Snakes, Spiders and Students, Oh My!

Story time! I am going to make this an ASF, and narrate it to you bullet style.
* Arrive at the gate to Betz Tiger Point Preserve.
* Call contact to let me in gate.
* No Answer.
* Wait five minutes.
* Call again.
* No Answer.
* Pick up cameras.
* Start walking.
* Notice Sign: Beware of Wild Hogs
* Call FJ
* Learn that wild hogs don't attack unless they have to, but will mess you up if they do. If a hog starts to attack, climb a tree.
* Walk down dirt road.
* Size up trees.
* Walk.
* Jump at every grass shuffle noise made by lizards.
* Walk.
* Size up tress.
* Call contact.
* Leave message on her voicemail that if she sees two cameras and a fat pig, to not worry about me showing up to the site.
* See cars.
* Excited to see a hint of life.
* Notice that cars have University of North Florida parking passes.
* Take smaller path that veers off by UNF cars.
* Be proud of myself for being an observant individual.
* Walk.
* Walk.
* Ooh, a spider.
* Walk.
* Size up trees.
* Walk.
* Notice there is a path up ahead.
* Rationalize out that my story is on a archeological dig on shell mounds.
* Take path closest to water.
* Again, proud of myself.
* Walk.
* Notice a dark log with dark winding branches fallen over by path.
* Notice one of those dark branches slithers across the path approximately five feet in front of my toes.
* Turn back.
* Take other path.
* Walk.
* Carefully, cut through two threads of a spider web taking up the path.
* Slide under web, not disturbing the spider.
* Walk.
* See another path.
* Realize that path is in fact the main dirt road that I was once on.
* Turn around.
* Walk back to snake path.
* Take snake path.
* Watch brush like a hawk.
* Walk.
* See two yellow canoes out on the lake.
* See fishing boat further ahead.
* Walk.
* Reach fishing boat.
* Ask the man and the young boy if they know anything about about an archeology dig.
* Learn that the site is two miles up the main road.
* Walk back.
* Get to main road.
* Walk.
* Call contact as one last act of desperation.
* Contact answers.
* Learn that she has been working out and didn't have her phone on her.
* Quit my journey towards the site.
* Walk back to UNF cars.
* Wait by tree.
* Ooh, another spider.
* Gold SUV flies from down the dirt path, spins around and old man with a white beard and khaki on looks at me.
* No doubt, this is an archeology guy.
* Get in SUV.
* Drive to site.
* Walk.
* Size up trees.
* Meet students.
* Take pictures.
* Take pictures.
* See another snake.
* Glad to see this one is an eighth of the size.
* Take pictures.
* Drive to next site.
* Park.
* Walk.
* Size up trees.
* Ask about wild hogs.
* Learn that in all his time he has not seen a wild hog.
* Walk.
* Walk on deep sand path.
* Walk in field.
* Walk through tall bushes.
* Scold myself for wearing shorts, makeup and doing my hair, all of which were pointless at this time.
* Search for snakes in bushes.
* Find no snakes.
* See clearing by the lake.
* Start walking by the lake.
* Notice all those two inch creatures dodging from under our feet are in fact crabs.
* Imagine one of those crabs getting kicked back into shoe.
* Walk more carefully.
* Get to site.
* Meet people.
* Take pictures.
* Wipe sweat off of forehead.
* Take more pictures.
* Journey back to SUV.
* Drive to gate.
* Get in car.
* Turn on air conditioning.
* Drive away from locked gate.
* Be glad that I went.